But What If I Have To Poop?

By Muzz

The new InStyle just showed up, and I was soo excited to see it. It comes every month, but all my other mags are weeklies, so it feels like a lifetime between issues.

Since awards season is in full swing, this issue was turning out to be better than usual… until the ‘your look’ section– right after the pages with those fun, cutie-pie outfits they put together for different types of regular, everyday occurances;  how to look really cute for an interview, or really sassy for happy hour,  or other things that don’t occur in my life.  The headline on the page is:  “You Can Do Jumpsuits”.  I read the words and immediately raised my hands in the air and smiled, then started repeating the sentence “Am I slurring my words?” 

 To my great relief,  I was not having a stroke. Indeed, InStyle is promoting the wearing of jumpsuits.  Um… hey, InStyle?  I’m not a mechanic or an infant, so no, I can’t wear a jumpsuit. The article says that jumpsuits are flattering and comfortable. I’m gonna disagree. I have yet to see a camel-toe flatter anyone and although yeast infections are a lot of things, comfortable aint one of them.   I don’t like the idea of taking off my top to use the bathroom, especially since I’m one of those people who always waits until the last second.

The very first jumpsuit they suggest is a dark blue number covered in big white paisleys, but then they say to avoid loudprints, as my jumpsuit is statement enough. I don’t think that they realize that the statement (no matter the print) is:  “Look at me, I’m an adult wearing a onesie! Aren’t I silly? If I move my arms I’ll get a snuggy!” Um, no, you look a grown-up wearing baby clothes. Nope, no thanks.  No rompers for me.

Published in: on February 8, 2009 at 4:04 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. That’s as good as the article a year or so ago about dresses for women of any size and the photo showed a model wearing a bag. An effing bag. Sometimes I really think fashion editors just make bets with each other as to what they can get the public to wear.


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