Gravity Storm

By Wingnut

I”m confused by gravity.

Not the Newtonion physics of it; I get “what goes up must come down” and the whole inertia thing.  I’ve seen Dancing with the Stars, I understand bodies in motion.  And not Einstein’s relativity gig.  E=mc2 is heavy stuff but the idea of large bodies bending space makes sense to me.  I’ve felt the whooosh of a  semi go past on the highway.  Gravity.

No, what I mean is; what the hell’s going on with my face?

Yes, I’m aware that I am firmly ensconsed in middle age.  Heck, in six short years I’ll qualify for the senior disount!  Can’t wait, by the way.  My cheapness far outstrips my vanity.

I really don’t have a huge complaint with my face.  I use sunscreen, I avoid UV rays when ever possible, I moisturize.  I even sleep on my back, as beauty experts advise; sleeping on one’s face causes one’s skin to fall in unbecoming folds.

So why is the Crypt Keeper peering back at me from the bathroom mirror every morning? 

Easy answer; because I’m old.

But it doesn’t last.  By the time I’ve had my fill of the magic elixer known as coffee, the CK is gone.  I look ten years older first thing in the morning than I do for the rest of the day, which doesn’t make sense, seeing as I’m actually younger first thing in the morning than I ever will be again.

Hence my confusion.

Maybe it’s not gravity that confuses me.  Maybe it’s the whole time/space continuum.  Maybe I’m actually older first thing in the morning than I ever will be again.  Like Merlin, maybe I’m aging backwards, but only over the course of each day.

Maybe I just need more coffee.