Damn you, Facebook! Your games and wily ways suck me in.
You prey on my need to be heard, to not feel alone in the universe, to reach out to my fellow man and say, “hello, fellow man – perhaps you’d like to know 25 Random Things about me.”
1. I come from a large Catholic family, I am the fourth of eight children. Mealtime made me scrappy, constant teasing made me self-deprecating.
2. I wore a short-sleeved blue leotard as a swimsuit for two summers. Some sort of hand-me-down although I never saw anyone else wear it.
3. I was a small child and until I was 13, I was sure I’d be a jockey. At age 13, I discovered boys and riding a horse seemed silly.
4. Until I was 13, I was not very interested in bathing or showering. (See sentence #2 of item #3)
5. From ages 10 thru 18, I spent whole summers at our house in Cape Cod where I learned the art of the Vacation Drama and later, Brooding.
6. My first apartment was above Ribizza, my clothes always smelled like pizza and there were no doors or shower. I washed my hair in the tub with a cup from Super America: The Big Gulp 44.
7. I had my first child when I was 19. I hated the term single-mother and wouldn’t always correct strangers that assumed I was babysitting my little brother.
8. I didn’t get my drivers license until I was 29 and I will not drive on the highway. One time I was unexpectedly spit out on the highway and the expression on my face was exactly like Beaker from The Muppet Show.
9. I taught myself how to hand set type and operate antique letterpress equipment. I know, I know… Sexy.
10. I own a design and letterpress studio and have a line of of greeting cards sold around the country. I won’t stop until Zeichen Press makes a million bucks even though it’s all just silliness and my time would be better spent holding crack-babies. I’m so self-centered/I suck. (See sentence #2 of item #1)
11. I wish it was acceptable to challenge friends or strangers to a running race.
12. I own a kayak that is docked and locked on Lake of the Isles. The combination is: 8675309.
13. I find a live, wild bird almost every summer. Usually Sparrows but occasionally a duck or a Robin. When I share this information with people I speak with an air of nonchalance and mystery.
14. I hustle to leave a very dark room alone. And would only enter a very dark room alone if I absolutely had to. If I have a child with me I force them to enter first.
15. I have had 15 pets, including a parakeet named Pepper, a newt named Scoot, a cat named Atticus, a Siberian Dwarf Hamster named Couscous, and another Siberian Dwarf Hamster named Couscous II.
16. I have terrible eyesight and have worn glasses for 31 years. I’m afraid to get Lasek because I think it will take away my special powers.
17. I get really, really excited if I think I’ve discovered a secret passageway or compartment. 99% of the time I’ve discovered nothing but still feel like I’m “getting close.”
18. Every single one of my dreams has a scene that involves me and a toilet.
19. I usually have some debilitating or terminal illness but also have a phobia of doctors, making diagnosis difficult.
20. I don’t recycle cans or bottles but I DO recycle glad tidings. Wink.
21. I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day for 6 years. It was the best six years of my life.
22. I absolutely panic when I come across a large centipede in my house but I’m not afraid to bike alone in the dark. In the city. Nude.
23. I said, “Nuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
24. Are you still reading?
25. I love when people read what I write.